


Family Musings

by Chuck S (HowNovel), Nina (HowNovel)



Category: Starman (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-09-28
Updated: 2001-09-28
Packaged: 2017-10-25 17:09:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/272724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HowNovel/pseuds/Chuck%20S, https://archiveofourown.org/users/HowNovel/pseuds/Nina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>2002 Fan Quality Award - Honorable Mention</p><p>On September 11, 2001, when we had so much else to think about, writing about an alien and his son seemed almost frivolous. Still, we needed to connect even more. "Starman" yet again provided the vehicle, depicting his reactions to an entire spectrum of experiences from a horrific event. If we couldn't escape reality, we'd bring reality to our escape. Can a 15 year old series be relevant today? We say yes. We hope our efforts honor "Starman" and all those whose lives have been touched by September 11th's tragedy.</p><p>In this story, set in the aftermath of September 11, 2001, Paul and Scott (now 29), have found Jenny, settled down, and there's a new child, Lizzie. Scott has a 12-year-old cousin, Will, and for a contrasting perspective from the contemporary Scott, we’ve included the 14-year-old Scott, as he appeared in the TV series, hypothesizing what he might think.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Family Musings

FAMILY MUSINGS  
A Fan Fiction story  
By Chuck S and Nina

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Tuesday, 9/18/01  
FROM: PAUL@Starview.com  
TO: JENNY@Starview.com  
SUBJECT: I HAVE NO MORE WORDS

Jenny, my love,

I've arrived safely if, we can call it that. I'm afraid nothing can erase this. Two majestic towers—now only a hole in the skyline, tons of twisted, still burning metal, concrete and ash that covers everything, even our faces. The smell—no way to describe it. Rain clears the air somewhat, but makes the wreckage slippery. But the rescuers work on heroically. A young National Guardsman told me, "People are under there. There's always hope." The police officer nearby just looked at me wearily. We know. Seven days already. Hundreds homeless or without utilities, mail, transportation, broadcasting. Children's schools taken over for disaster needs. Though I have a job to do, it's hard to stand here photographing without feeling like a voyeur. Yesterday, the wind blew down next to me someone's picture of a beach vacation— a boy and a girl. When I looked at it, I saw our children’s faces. I have no more words.

I'm glad Scott's there with you and Lizzie. I know you can handle things, but I feel better knowing you're all together. I borrowed a spare wireless communicator, as the phones don't work. Still getting the hang of it, but tell the kids they can write if they like. Give them a hug for me. I'll try to call in a few days. Keep safe. All my love, Paul

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Wednesday, 9/19/01  
FROM: Scott(The Elder)@Starview.com  
TO: Will@Willstar.com  
SUBJECT: News  
Hey, Will!

Thanks for your email. That was cool. Sorry it's taken a while to get back to you, but well, you know Isn't it just awful? Even if it was the Pentagon. Glad our friends are all safe. When the attack came, Dad got stranded in Roswell for a day and a half, so that was kind of hard on everybody. He finally managed to get a rental car in Santa Fe and drove 1300 miles home to Wisconsin. Being on the road is nothing new to him, of course, but he said it was a long and desolate trip without me, Mom or Lizzie. The tragedy took a personal turn and really hit home for Dad when he heard that one of his Chamber of Commerce colleagues was on American Airlines Flight 11, the first plane that crashed into the WTC. Luckily, we found out later that she’s okay. She got stuck in traffic and missed the plane. Close call! Mom and Dad were freaked out, and made me come home for a while, even though I'd already been up two weekends in a row for Labor Day and Lizzie's birthday and nothing's going on in sleepy Madison. But with Dad now in New York, photographing Ground Zero, I’m only too happy to hang around here and protect my family.

We had a nice birthday party for Lizzie, and she was happy. Too bad all of this stuff happened right after. We're trying to keep the TV and the radios off and not talk too much about it in front of her, but of course she knows. There are a few kids in her school whose extended families were affected in Washington and New York, and of course, some have parents or siblings who might be deployed eventually. The school's really doing a good job of handling things, Mom and Dad said they didn't even know how to start.

 

Catch ya later. Scott

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Friday 9/21/01  
From: Lizzie@Starview.com  
To: Paul@Starview.com  
SUBJECT: From Lizzie

Dear Daddy,

This is Lizzie. I liked my birthday and Im glad to be home with Mommy and Scotty but Im very sad about all the bad things those bad people did to our country and all the people who got hurt and died. Specially all the fire-fighters and policemen and evrybody else who tried to rescu them.  
Scotty doesn't like cops but he says these are good cops. I feel bad for all the little boys and little girls who maybe don't have their daddies and mommies any more, and I was scared for you cause you were on an airplane. Im glad youre OK.

Daddy, can I get the money out of the clown bank in my room? I know how to do it—you pull the rubber thing out of his feet. I have like 27 dollars and lots of change in there. I want to send it to the people who need help. I saved my allowance for a long time but I dont need 27 dollars of candy and I got enough presents for my birthday. Thank you, Daddy. Love you and miss you to Algeiba and back.

Your little girl, Lizzie.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Friday 9/21/01  
FROM: Paul@Starview.com  
TO: Lizzie@Starview.com  
SUBJECT: We’ll All Be Fine

 

Hi Sweetie. I know you feel bad about all the sad things that happened last week. I wish none of it were real. But I don’t want you to worry, because all of the adults in your world are okay, and we’ll protect you to Algeiba and back.

I'm very proud of you wanting to contribute your candy money to help all those poor people. I love you and miss you very much, and I’m glad we got to celebrate your birthday before I left for New York. Can’t wait to get home and pick up my little girl and swirl you around and around, and watch that giant smile light up your face. I promise we’ll only talk about good things. Won’t that be fun?

See ya later, alligator! In a while, crocodile!

Here’s a great big hug and a kiss. (What – kiss an alligator? Yuck!)

Love always, Daddy.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Saturday 9/22/01  
FROM: Will@Willstar.com  
TO: Paul@Starview.com  
SUBJECT: Growing up Scared

Dear Uncle Paul,

I'm staying at my grandmother’s house in California because Dad’s headed to Texas to chronicle Muslim children getting beat up by dumb Americans, and Mom got called to do a story on the female combat pilots at Diego Garcia Military Base in the Indian Ocean. She didn't want to go, but her paper lost so many reporters from their office on the 67th floor of the World Trade Center (Tower 2), that her boss said she had no choice and had to assign Mom her first overseas duty in years. I didn't want to stay with Aunt Jenny because she has enough on her hands with my cousin right now, trying to keep Lizzie from learning too much about what's happened. I, on the other hand, want to know everything—gotta know everything—because it might affect me directly in less than 6 years. No—that's wrong—it's already affected me and will continue to affect me long before I reach draft age.

Getting here was quite scary. I used to love to fly, but now I'm not so sure anymore. The security was oppressive - they even patted me down like I was some kind of criminal or something. What's next—a strip search? Dad had to ruin a roll of film in his camera because they demanded he open the camera's back where the film is. I was surprised that Dad did it without a murmur of  
protest. Of course there was nothing on the film because he was just starting out. Once on board, the plane was empty—which got me thinking that the ones that were hijacked were also pretty empty. The atmosphere was tense. No one looked happy, and even the attendants were totally serious. That's ok, because I wasn't in the mood for fun either. As we rolled down the runway, one man started praying out loud, asking God to protect this aircraft. In the past, I would have thought this guy was some terrified dude on his first flight, snickering behind his back. Not this time. I silently joined him.

We made it without incident. My grandmother remarked that I seemed quieter than normal. It doesn't take a genius to figure that out. This whole scene has totally freaked me out. I'm supposed to be a genius, so I can figure things out, and the more I figure, the more scared I've become. Basically these terrorists can attack us at any time, in ways we can probably not protect against. Water supplies, utilities, and the ever-popular suicide bombers are just a few ways. Chemical and biological weapons can easily be smuggled in. We are at war, and it's a war that's right here at home. Being so helpless is really scary.

I know we have to stop this kind of evil, even if it means fighting in far away places. But since I may be called upon to do the fighting in a few years, I'm thinking how stupid it would be to waste my life when I'm so young. Killing itself seems pretty stupid. Dad told me about how when he was young he protested the Vietnam War because it was unjust. He said this war is different. That terrorism is wrong in every religion. He told me, if the time comes, he was sure I'd accept the responsibility of defending our entire way of life in a just war. I told him that was easy for him to say. And then he told me of the many times he risked his life in the war zone as a photographer, because even though he didn't believe in the war, he did believe in communicating that war to the world, firsthand. Whatever—the thought of killing or being killed is still pretty terrifying for a 12-year-old kid. War is also bad for business—I haven't gotten a single hit on my web site all week.

I understand responsibility much more now, too. I want you to know I contributed to the telethon today. Seeing all those entertainers up there working for free, and hearing the stories about all those who were heroes in NY, really got to me.

Well, I'm going up to the observatory. I'm finding it very peaceful to just gaze on the stars right now. Grandpa joins me pretty often, puts his arm around my shoulder, and, and we just sit there for hours. It feels good.

See ya.  
Will

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Sunday, 9/23/01  
FROM: Paul@Starview.com  
TO: Will@Willstar.com  
SUBJECT: Re: Growing Up Scared

 

Hi Will,

Thanks for writing. I'm glad you're with your grandparents. I know your mom didn't want to go on that assignment. Since they had you, both of your parents are less inclined to go anywhere and everywhere, but they have jobs to do, and like your dad says, those jobs are important to all of us so that the world knows what's happening now. That's taking responsibility, too. I think you're starting to understand that, and it's good. They'll be okay, and so will you.

I know you’re scared, Will. The United States has never been attacked in our lifetimes, and the thought that terrorists can strike anywhere in this country, and we might not be able to prevent it, is very unsettling. But keep in mind the government is doing everything possible to both tighten  
security and to eliminate this terror at its source. If we succumb to our fears, and never go out, the terrorists have won.

I know your deeper fear is about going to war. Yeah, Will, war is stupid, and lots of people getting killed—especially innocent civilians like the thousands here last week, or young soldiers not much older than you who are being deployed now—is also stupid. Nobody wants to go to war—at least not reasonable human beings. Yet, most reasonable human beings also agree that  
what happened last week represents extreme hatred, and a disregard for humanity that is not reasonable. I used to believe that war was wrong, period. But I also believe that evil does exist, and if evil is truly rearing its head, a war to eliminate it may be just. That doesn't mean it's any less scary than an "unjust" war, though—for everybody, kids and adults.

I’m deeply upset by all the devastation and turmoil, and the prospect of more. I’m really struggling to make sense of it all. Even though many people in this country made Scott, Aunt Jenny and me suffer long and hard, it's still our home and way of life that are being threatened. That's why Scott still doesn't like cops, the military and the government, even though he knows not everybody's like the ones who hurt us. Yet, as you know, Algeibans are pacifists who abhor violence, and do not believe in retaliation. We search for alternatives to military action, like freezing or cutting off monetary assets. It might not be a bad idea, considering how people all over the world always think about their wallets. But it’s probably not enough, because the people who did this don’t need a lot of money to commit terror. This earth has disappointed me deeply these past two weeks. I'm not sure anybody, no matter what he or she believes, really knows the "right" answer at this point, and I have to confess I don’t either.

I hope this war won't last long enough for you to face the draft, but hopefully by then we'll have at least a few more answers about what you and your peers will be up against. Then you can make your decision. If at that time, you really believe all war is not just “stupid”, but immoral, you can apply to be a Conscientious Objector.

If you didn’t have to face the draft, and were trying to decide if you should volunteer, being a soldier is very hard, and I'm not sure it's for you, since besides the risks, it requires a lot of physical, mental, and emotional discipline and being able to do what you're told without questioning it, even when you think it's dumb. I know that last part's not your thing, but in the military, even more than anywhere else, lots of people's lives depend on it. Even though all of us adults who care about you wouldn't be happy about sending you off to something potentially dangerous, I think we'd all be proud if you decided to do that. But it's not for everybody, Will, and if you decided you just couldn't do it, there are other honorable ways for people of talent like you to help our country and our world, especially once you're older, more mature and further along in your education.

I was also impressed with the stunning memorial graphics you put up on your website, and the new educational links page. And I’m glad you like going up to your grandfather’s observatory. I do, too, and it’s a great way to forget about these awful events for a while.

All my love, Uncle Paul

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tuesday, 9/25/01  
From Scott(The Younger)@ForeverYoung.com  
TO: Paul@Starview.com  
Subject: In Defense of My Way of Life

Hi Dad,

I’m still really bummed out about all this. I mean we were attacked, 7000 innocent people killed, our largest city brought to its knees, and people are suddenly afraid who never were before, like my cousin, Will. Yeah, I'm angry, but something far beyond anger is making me to want to do everything possible to support getting rid of terrorism, and actively wiping out this horrible evil.

I’m an American. I have attended school and grown up in the US culture, and it’s a part of me. I enjoy doing all the things American teens do, and I can’t let any entity destroy my way of life. We Americans need to be able to once again enjoy a freedom to travel without fear, to work or go to a movie anywhere, in any building, without concern it will be blown up, to not have innocent people die just because they're Americans. It's just that simple. Will is right in concluding the threat to all of us is very real. For his sake, for Lizzie's sake, and for all of us, we gotta do what we gotta do.

BTW, I love the image you inspired when you wrote to Will about cutting off bin Laden's credit. "Sorry, sir, this card's been refused. Do you have another?" Trouble is, he does have another, which is why that probably won't be enough. He'll still be out there, plotting, and even if we cut off his last penny, he'd just rip off what he needs.

It's interesting, I'm just two years older than Will, but my experiences have led me to such a different outlook. Guess when you've been shot at from a helicopter by a crazy, obsessed man, your perspective on fear is totally different. People like Fox don't represent America, and I don't condemn the entire US way of life just because it produced someone like him. I am not bin Laden. And when he intends to destroy the very essence of how I live, well, he's gotta go.

Love, Scott

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thursday, 9/27/01  
FROM: Scott(the Elder)@Starview.com  
TO: Paul@Starview.com  
SUBJECT: The Government and Us

 

Hi, Dad,

 

I'm still here with Mom and Lizzie. Don't worry. I have a lot of vacation days banked, so it's not a problem. If I have to, I'll drive down to Madison and come straight back afterwards. I'm not going anywhere as long as you’re in New York.

It's a little better this week. Relatively speaking, of course. Just when we think things are about to settle down, there's new stuff on the news, or more people we know who lost friends or colleagues or major pieces of their lives in this horrible tragedy. Sometimes it's hard to concentrate. But I know it's worse for you. You're strong, Dad, to be in the middle of this. Don't show me the prints, okay? At least, not for a long time. I don't think I can take it.

Speaking of Lizzie, I adore her, but she has an endearing, yet maddening talent for asking unfair questions. Just like you when you first got here. The other Scott has her all fired up and now she's asking if I'm going to Afghanistan. She's also going around telling people I hate the government and soldiers, which is kind of dangerous to say these days. I keep telling her there's a big difference between 'hate' and 'don't like' and I never even said I didn't like all of them. I like some of them a lot.

I know she's a kid, and to her everything's black and white, good and bad, and I'm trying really hard not to destroy her innocence, but life isn't that simple. Especially our lives. I don't hate the government or the military, but they make me nervous, and you know why. If that's "don't like," okay, but I'd never condemn anybody in particular. Except Fox. Mostly it was Fox and Wylie who made our lives miserable — one manic, obsessed redneck and one dimwit, so I guess people could say there's no danger now that they're out of our lives, but we never know. Before they even came into the picture, it was the military that shot you down in the first place. Those guys must have slept through training the day they discussed the difference between Soviet missiles and Algeiban spacecraft. I guess in a way we should say thank you, because Lizzie and I wouldn't be here without them, but as the guy from SETI said, awfully rude to do that after "we" invited you.

You did nothing wrong. Neither did Mom except to love you, and for that, I had a price on my head before I was even born. For all I know, there's still one. I just keep remembering, even though the military and the government knew Fox was a nut, somebody—lots of somebodies—kept paying his credit cards and letting him use this country's resources to chase and threaten us for so many years of our lives.

Many kind and loving strangers helped us and kept us alive during those years, government and military people too. I understand some were just doing their jobs, following orders without knowing us or the impact of what they did. Fox doesn't represent the whole. But a system that supported him can support another one like him. That's all it takes, and right now, we have a lot more to lose than we used to: our careers, our homes and everything in them, lots of friends and relatives who might be hurt because of us, and most of all, Lizzie's schooling and chance for a happy childhood. I swore the day she was born that I'd never let her go through what I did if I could help it.

Lizzie says this other Scott says he's an American and has to defend America. That makes sense. He was born here, he lives here, he goes to school here, and has a good life, full of all the opportunities and freedoms we never had on the run. Of course he'd want to protect that. But I thought I was an American too. My Earth family, the Haydens and the Geffners, has been in this country for generations. They've worked hard, been good neighbors and citizens, my grandfathers and uncles served honorable time in the military like most men of their time, putting their lives on the line far from home for the good of this country. Ever since we stopped running, you, Mom and I've tried to do the same. So why have Mom and I always been like outsiders looking in? Why did I have to spend almost my whole childhood without her? Why did she have to spend that time crying and worrying and running, all of us hungry, tired, cold, dirty and broke and scared—often without school or jobs or possessions or relationships? Why, after all these years, do I still have to see both of you freaking out any time the slightest bad thing happens to me or Lizzie, which always somehow comes back to "We're sorry. It's all our fault." For wanting kids? For loving us to Algeiba and back, as Lizzie says? Why do you have to think it's your fault? It's not.

The other Scott says that I’m antagonistic. I don't think so. Just pragmatic. You know what I mean. We don't hate. But we do hurt, and it takes a long time to rebuild broken trust. I hurt for every innocent person who was injured or killed in this tragedy and their families, especially the  
kids left behind. I know the terrorists have to be stopped, but it's too shadowy a war right now, too shadowy an enemy. When you go in there, you do have to trust. You have to be able to do your job quickly without second guesses. If it were me on the front lines, I'd always wonder who made these decisions for us; people who would be our friends if the FSA was still after us, or the ones who would let us be vivisected? What fellow soldier would I be protecting, one who'd be as loyal to me as I am to a friend, or one who would sacrifice me to save himself if he knew who I was? When we hit the enemy, who would be hurt, the people who deserve it, or the innocent ones who don't? You can't ask those questions in a war. So I can't do that job, but I'm glad for the ones who can, and I wish them luck. They'll need it.

Frankly, I'm glad I'm too old to be drafted now. I couldn't go, but I'm not into being one of America's Most Wanted again, either. And you know something, Dad? I know you want us to be peaceful, and I try, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. If anybody directly threatened our family or our closest friends, my choice would be clear. If Fox were in front of me, I might not blow his head off, but I wouldn't stand in the way of another heart attack, either. Sorry. This just doesn't do it for me like that.

I'm glad you got the donated stuff okay. We were worried it might not get through. People are calling every day wanting to help, so Mom and I can put together more of whatever's needed anytime. That's what we know how to do to help people who are suffering. We're holding each other tight, keeping each other balanced and doing our best to shield Lizzie. That's what we've always done. No wondering, no shadows. We don't know how to get rid of bin Laden or whoever committed this atrocious massacre. That's for somebody else to figure out.

In your pocket. Love, Scott

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Saturday, 9/29/01  
FROM: Paul@Starview.com  
TO: Scott(the Younger)@ForeverYoung.com; Scott(the Elder)@Starview.com  
CC: Will, Bob, Liz, Jenny  
SUBJECT: War and Peace

Hi Boys,

Thanks for sharing your heartfelt feelings about this terrible event that has hit all humanity. I’m also grateful for the privilege of being able to address my son simultaneously at two stages of his life.

Each of you, and Will and Lizzie, whom I already wrote to, have had to go through a grieving and mourning process which I wish with all my heart none of us had to experience. I, myself, am extremely disappointed and saddened by the actions of some human beings a few weeks ago. Such a shocking crisis involving all of humanity has forced each of us to examine our values and explore what it means to us as individuals. I’m not surprised that within our little family a full spectrum of feelings, reactions, and opinions about what to do now have surfaced. We’re all influenced by our experiences and by our communications with others, and that leads to a great diversity.

I’m proud that each of you has put a lot of thought and soul-searching into understanding where you stand. Young Scott's rationale about defending our way of life is as valid as Older Scott's deep-rooted concern about trusting a government and a societal mindset that caused us so much harm in the past. Yet both of you are the same person. You have reached different conclusions because, while your genetic makeup is the same, your environments have been different. Older Scott, having been chased and hounded by Fox for a much longer period than his younger self, has been more deeply affected by that experience, and so it’s much harder to follow Young Scott's instincts, even though Scott the Elder also recognizes the need to defend our way of life.

I, too, may have different perceptions and beliefs from my younger self. In my early days, I would have opposed all forms of war as inherently wrong and immoral. Then I found myself at Peagrum, destroying property, which is a form of war. I did it to defend our way of life (and our right to life), a motivation essentially no different that that of Young Scott's today. Recently, I've had to look within myself and decide if the concept of a just war truly exists, and after reading some of your comments and hearing your Uncle Bob's comments to Will, I have to acknowledge there may be some validity to such a concept, because human beings are human. In a perfect world, there would be no such thing because all humans would consistently act for the good of all humanity, and the rationale for a just war would not be needed. I still consider myself a pacifist, but, like you, the environment that helps formulate my values is different today than even three weeks ago.

So I can’t tell you which of you is right or wrong, because your position, like my own, is really a matter of conscience that comes from deep within you. I’m not sure your choices would be mine, but I respect your right to have them. What I can say, and this applies to all members of our family — your mom, Lizzie, and our closest relatives, Uncle Bob, Aunt Liz, and your cousin, Will — is that for all of our diverse feelings and beliefs, we are and will always be a family. Because we recognize that there is a common bond of love and caring, of support and respect for each other, we tolerate different views, even if diametrically opposite. Uncle Bob once told us, "We are human beings first, and photographers second." I'd like to paraphrase his thought by saying we have common bonds as a family first, and individual differences second.

All my love always,

Dad

THE END


End file.
